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One minute your life is going great, the next you’re throwing up in the middle of a Zoom meeting. You check your period app and find out you’re three weeks late. One thing crosses your mind, “PREGNANCY”. Here are other things that come to mind when you fear pregnancy.
Pregnancy Scare Meme
Even if you have a steady partner, you start to wonder if the driver who washed your hand in the parking lot somehow got you pregnant. If you don’t even have sex with men or sex at all, you might be wondering if we’re going to have another Mary.
When Will We Stop Asking ‘what Are You, Pregnant?’ —
You call a family meeting about all your birth control methods and start to wonder which one failed. Could your emergency contraception have been fake? Is your IUD no longer working? Have you stopped? Has society lied about celibacy? Can a plastic dick get you pregnant?
Your brain suddenly starts doing math. How much do baby wipes cost? Can babies eat semo because the price of baby food doesn’t seem cheap? How much do you even have in savings? How much does an abortion cost in this economy?
Imagine yourself with the following bundle. You’re planning a baby shower in your head. How do you apply for maternity leave at work? What kind of pregnant woman will you be? What names will you give your child when he is born? You may have told yourself a long time ago that you would terminate the pregnancy if you got pregnant right away, but sometimes the brain just can’t keep up with the schedule. They wander.
When you realize that pregnancy doesn’t mean more hot girl summers, your stomach turns a little. How will you survive nine months without alcohol and club activities? Your plan was to rock out on a yacht in Dubai in a thong, not a little bump.
Pregnant Women Whose Day Is Going Worse Than Yours Is
Even if you are not religious, you will pray for whoever you can. You will make promises that you will not be able to keep and then you will seek forgiveness from every person you have ever offended in your life.
So you’ve been through all the scary pregnancy moves, and you know you’re left with two options. Keep it or break it. You take the test and hope for the best. It’s better when the test comes back negative and you realize you’re stressed and you’re eating funny tasting fruit, that’s why you threw up.
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If your partner has spent so much time in your house that it seems like they live there, moving on can be difficult. So what happens when you can’t afford to move to continue the memories of your partner? 7 heartbroken Nigerians share their experience.
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Herbs To Avoid During Pregnancy & Breastfeeding
This week’s #WhatSheSaid subject is a 23-year-old Nigerian woman. She tells us how she discovered her feminism, pansexuality, and atheism through books while living with her close-knit conservative family.
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Susan Ojoye* held her first pack of cigarettes when she was 4 years old. Now, she shares what it’s like growing up with a father who smokes at least three times a day, how it affected their relationship, and why she has never given in to the temptation to smoke.
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